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Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities
Download Ebook Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 5 hours and 1 minute
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Hachette Audio
Audible.com Release Date: June 25, 2013
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English
ASIN: B00D8JU7P8
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I wanted to like this book. Kluwe seems like an intelligent guy. But I just couldn't get through this. Something about his writing style put me off. Maybe, at the bottom of it, I just don't care enough about football as a sport or social construct to read a book like this.
I was fortunate enough to get the chance to hear Chris Kluwe speak at a local community college last month and this book is like the written version of his talk that night. He was asked about everything from football to politics to video games to music that “little old ladies†would like to the nature of dualism to curing depression. He fielded (!) all of those questions masterfully – so when he mentioned he had a book coming out – I knew I had to get it.“Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies†is a fascinating, rambling, incredibly smart read. I first heard Chris Kluwe’s name in reference to the marriage equality debate (one of my hot button issues) – and when I read his letter to Emmett C. Burns Jr. Many people responded more to some of the words Kluwe used than the overarching point of his letter, and Kluwe addresses that in this book. “The swearing is there for a reason. What Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote, what I responded to, was far more disgusting and foul-minded than any simple scatological reference or genital mash-up. His words degraded the very essence of the English language with their barely hidden venom and intolerant hate; drag it screaming into the muck of iniquity by wrapping a mantle of seeming reasonableness around corruption and control; masquerade as discourse while screaming their very lies to any heaven to any heaven you care to name – I could go on. My words? My words are a litmus test for those who would see the truth of a message rather than the package it’s delivered in.â€Chris Kluwe is crazy smart. He is creative, articulate, thinks fast on his feet and has a core of beliefs that shine through everything he says.He also writes beautifully. In the section entitled “The Rush†– his description of the process and experience of his day job – is very evocative, reading almost like poetry. “…as my left foot locks into the ground and all the muscles on my right lower side contract and then explode up through an expelled grunt of air, left arm fully outstretched to the sky, eyes never leaving the gold Wilson engraved on the side, though they’re not quick enough to actually see the moment of impact, and now I’m following through and time returns to normal again, an eternity of 1.2 seconds later.â€And when he talks about the sensation of reading a great book – it’s like he was pulling those thoughts and feelings straight from my own head. “The pure luxuriousness of reading a book in comfort is one of the greatest sensations in the world (sex is better, but only by a little bit). Curling up on an engulfing couch as snow drifts down outside, toes hidden beneath warm blankets; lying sideways on a cushioned chaise while cool sea breezes gently stir the sunny afternoon air; hiding under the covers with a flashlight while rain beats down outside, all of these anchored by a collection of thoughts and ideas bound together, alone in whatever world the author created. Such hedonistic delight in contemplation of the immaterial, the intangible. File under Satisfaction with Universe.â€I think the section that had the greatest impact on me (because this is another of my hot button issues) is “Bang Bang†– the essay he wrote on the day of Newtown. As a person, as a mother, that day was horrific for me. I couldn’t stop crying for those children, for those parents…and for the certainty that even though these were schoolchildren that were murdered, the NRA would not allow one single solitary thing to change in our country – and if they possibly could – they would make things even worse so that they could sell more guns and ensure more people would die. Kluwe, however, expresses his feelings of that day in bold and with many caps. He is angry, rightly so, as he maps out exactly what the gun fanatics would think and do after one of the darkest days in our country’s history. His letter to those who worship guns over human life is one of the most powerful I’ve ever read.“Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies†is a book that made me think and laugh and learn. I loved reading it and I look forward to more books (and letters!) from Chris Kluwe.
I enjoy Kluwe's writing style; that said, it would be really cool to see him write (1) fiction (which I would buy in a heartbeat since it would surely be hilarious), (2) something more about football. Granted, I'm sure the majority of people buying this book are not buying it expecting a Pat Summerall-like account of the Favre NFC championship game as viewed from the Punter's perspective (to the 20... to the 25... there's a flag on the play...).The book is a series of somewhat random thoughts and essays - some of which were published previously as open letters and blog posts. The points are typically very valid, argued in an over the top fashion, laced with hilarious profanity. It covers the traditional political topics from Kluwe's perspective, with the occasional aside for other random topics (e.g. - time travel).This was a little too political for me personally (granted that's largely why Kluwe is famous enough to write a book) - I was hoping for more of the "aside" topics & stories (which will hopefully be in the next one).Thanks for everything you did for MN!
Quite simply put, I loved this book. If you're a fan of Chris Kluwe's off-the-field "work" then you'll certainly be a fan of this book. If you dislike Mr. Kluwe and, what he stands for as a human, you will most likely be annoyed with his writings. However, if you're open-minded and willing to look beyond yourself and what you KNOW to be right, you should feel somewhat enlightened after reading this book.I call it a toilet reader because a typical chapter takes 3-5 minutes at most to read. Most of the chapters don't really tie into each other, so there isn't a theme you have to keep up with. It's mostly personal feelings and thoughts about society today. You can almost feel him just picking up his laptop and writing a chapter because it popped into his head.I highly recommend reading this! I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. Cheers!
I am a Viking fan and, as a result, read many articles about Chris and his vocal support for marriage equality. Along with being a world-class athlete (even if he is a punter), he writes persuasively and coherently about his numerous interests (some outside football - especially politics). He is a modern day "Renaissance Man." The book is funny - but at times preachy. Like Vonnegut's work (Chris is a fan), the book is sprinkled with occasional chapters on science fiction, philosophy and song writing to keep it all interesting and fresh. I especially liked his chapter where he writes about "his hero" (go read it to find out for yourself - I ain't giving that one away).The cursing and sexual references may give pause to more conservative readers - but it is nothing beyond Vonnegut or many contemporary writers........but don't buy this book for your 12 year old NFL Raider/Viking fan.Based upon this book, Mr Kluwe has a bright future after the NFL. I hope to read more of his work in the future (when he writes it) and I hope he keeps it as entertaining and accessible as Sparkleponies. Maybe the great American novel is in his future. Chris appears to succeed in anything he tries to do - whwhy should such a novel be any different?
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